Tommy Baze and I met on a plane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean
I started attending UT, where Tommy was already a student
The two of us shared our first kiss, after years of crushing
Finally, a year later, we started officially dating
…and the rest is history;)
Don’t worry…I’m not going to sit here droning on and on about every neat moment I’ve had with this boyfriend of mine…instead, I’m going to throw out some words of wisdom, some phrases to ponder, and some thoughts to inspire…five different points, in fact, for the five lucky years I’ve had with Mr. Baze…
#1 don’t try to plan your life
If I’m saying this – Miss Plan Or Die – then it must be true! It just turns out that nothing ever goes as planned. Wearing your cute new ballet flats? It’ll probably rain now. Think you’ll end up in the NBA? When college rolls around, you may instead take up cooking.
Sure, when I first set my eyes on Tommy and his bright blue eyes and shaggy brown hair, I told myself I was going to marry that kid. Did I ever really think I’d even date him? Hell no!
Curveballs, unexpected surprises, detours, and new hands of cards all make up the spice of life – spontaneity – so try to be okay with it, because in the end, it’ll more than likely turn out great (at least, that’s what I always read in Disney and Hans Christian Andersen books…).
#2 choose what makes you happy
I feel like this decision is really black and white for most people. On one hand, we have the spoiled divas who, of course, are going to go after only what they want, not caring about anyone else’s happiness. Opposing, there are people-pleasers, who would rather make their loved ones proud than go after their own dreams.
The thing is, though, that this is your life. Be an astronaut, save a dollar a week, live in a cardboard box, teach a foreign language, wear pink every day, move out of that retirement home – if that is what you want.
For, this life is all about being happy, and when surrounded by things and people you love, in a place you love, doing what you love, you’ll up your health, positivism, and more.
#3 keep your friends close
Bouncing after my first two opinions, this would have to come next, if indeed you want to be pleased after you see where the winds blow you. I personally knew that coming from a town of 300, I would always be super close to, well, 300 people. I also realized, however, that going off to Austin (and New York and wherever else) would cause some relational speed bumps.
With some folks, it’ll occur to you that the days of constant giggles and Little League games and slumber parties are over. For others, you’ll keep most of those activities up with regularly.
There will be tears and tussles, which is when you must remember why you love the ones you do. This may also be a time when you turn to someone else, perhaps increasing another relationship. Reminiscing and rejoicing will take place, too, so cherish those times.
#4 learn love languages
Whether it’s with those friends, your own significant other, your family, or that random icky roommate you got stuck with, you’re going to have to adapt. Everyone accepts love differently, and figuring out if touch, words, service, time, or gifts fits the ones around you is a must.
It’s become obvious that Tommy and I are quite different when it comes to numerous things. If I received cheesy movie lines and pretty flowers every week, that’d be grand, while Tommy’s okay with just sitting, focusing on being friends rather than mushy lovebirds.
Adaptation, though, is key; you’ll have to do more of one thing and less of another to make who you’re with as happy as you are. It may be an uncomfortable shift, but we’re fine and dandy, so you will be, too.
#5 be mature
Despite my love for Spongebob and grape Laffy Taffy, I’m pretty sure I’ve always been considered a mature person. In the past year, though, I feel I’ve done more growing up than ever.
Yes, college does that to people, but I’ve learned that real relationships force you to evolve in ways you didn’t even know you needed.
From fights with Tommy and making weekend plans with friends to discussing money with parents and talking to bosses, staying level-headed, perceiving the situation from a clear, unbiased point-of-view, and working on keeping words neutral and strong will almost always land you a win.
Crazy that I learned all this, in twelve months, from one 23-year-old. Hope you’ll now go out and do your thing – live your life, learn your lessons, and love your loves.
wordy wednesday = woman writing