bet you’re not the only one who:
has always wanted to be a rockstar, even tried to take guitar lessons, failed miserably like me and now cannot talk about that dream
is tall so is constantly told you look like a model (“Oh, yeah, thanks, person. Guess my ginormous hips, which are obvs totally wrong for modeling, just passed right by your eyes!”)
gets angered when people try to “take what’s your’s” (i.e.: They say they love small towns, but MY town is the smallest, so I win. That couple loves working out together, but MY bf and I do it better!)
suffered some sort of devastating sports loss (forget the Yankees…Woodson vs. Richland Springs…2001…that’s all 😦 )
hates watching beloved movies with other people, as you really don’t want them to ruin the best lines and epic scenes for ya
eats all of your side dish before you even touch your main dish (at least I hope others do this!)
is super anal about hygiene, in a way that makes you check the mirror for eyebrow dandruff, eye sleep, spinach teeth and gray hairs 80,000 times a day
continues this anal attitude to objects, since the coffee table has to be exactly 14 inches from the couch, the fruit bowl needs to be turned slightly towards the sink – to give it character, your teacher’s stapler and tape dispenser need to be parallel, etc.
constantly holds in that little push thing on your odometer so that the numbers all go back to zero (where they belong!)
cannot use the bathroom unless it’s completely quiet…and small…and dark…
What do YOU do..?!
bimonthly betchya makes one feel a little less crazy, since “we’re all mad here,” and “down here we all float”