The story goes like this…I was donating plasma sometime last year and got to talking about The Walking Dead with the dude sucking life out of me. He went on to inform me of this race.
The deets are…It’s a 5K. You’re being chased by zombies. They’re trying to kill you (steal your flags). You must topple over walls, army-crawl through mud pits and trek in zombie guts/blood/parts.
I was hooked, and my brother and I went to sign up immediately…except it took us, like, six months to actually get around to it. Anyway, it’s official now, and the deed has been done.
Prepare yourself…to read about our journey.
Step One: Make neat shirts with your neat team name on them.
Step Two: Don’t get there two hours early like the website suggests.
We did this, but it only took us, like, two seconds to check-in, so we just sat in the pick-up, trying not to fall asleep, waiting to race forevs.
Step Three: Wear clothes and shoes you don’t care about.
They will get…a bit dirty.
Step Four: Stick with your teammates.
When you begin running, you will all herd out together, and during the race, the 50-ish people you run with will split into those intense people who sprint the whole time, the slow people who walk the entire thing and the middle people – us – who walk when winded but sprint through zombies like crazy.
Step Five: Know you will get winded.
The first ten minutes, we walked, with nothing happening…and I miss that time, because then you’re sprinting for your life through hoards of creepy creatures, trying to get to the next obstacle.
Step Six: Just throw yourself into the obstacles and keep going.
I didn’t want to do the first obstacle, because it involved the stinkiest water, and most of these challenges allow you to walk around them…but don’t! This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing that you’re in with your team, and you just have to scrape your knees under wire and hurt your back over walls and…much more intense stuff.
Step Seven: Don’t carry anything with you when you race/Rush back to your car when done.
Obviously, you’re going to need your hands free for this, and afterwards, there are dinky showers to at least get some mud off of you, but then you’ll just need to walk back to your car, strip down and use a towel to wipe your whole body off. I also suggest antibacterial wipes, because the other reviews I read said people got rashes the next day, due to germy water; we had a three-hour drive home before we could take a real shower, so we just scrubbed down with wipes!
Step Eight: Enjoy every minute of it, despite.
You will get tired. You might feel you’ll never get up that one wall or under that one tight space, but act like you’re Jack on The Island or Rick in the prison. Just have fun, get through it and party it up at the end!
(Also feel free to comment with any questions!)
manly monday discusses all things dude-ish-like