I know several of my posts are about Real Housewives, but this one is actually deeper. One of my favorite Bravo women – Carole Radziwill – just wrote a new book, The Widow’s Guide to Sex & Dating. Not only is she a coveted RH of NYC, but she’s also a journalist who was married to a Kennedy (see why I love her?).
In honor of her new book, she’s having fans write on some of her dating rules, and this week’s is “don’t sleep with him until he thinks he’s in love with you.”
I know I’m young and may not have that many juicy love stories or deep insight into fate and kismet, but here are my thoughts on this rule…
There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love, and that’s that. This Woody Allen quote sums up the tip-of-the-iceberg when it comes to love. Whether we’re eight, eighteen or fifty eight-years-old, we see The One, fall head over heels and can’t help it all.
My first word was the name of a cute boy my dad coached, and from then on, I remember crushing on boys on the playground and beyond. My “real” moment of this, though, happened on a plane ride to Cologne, Germany, where I set my eyes upon Tommy Baze. I switched seats to be by him the entire ride, bonded over music and small towns, ended up at the University of Texas with him…and the rest is history!
The course of true love never did run smooth. Then, however, bumps and trials come. Our romantic drama may not be as extreme as some of the scenes from Shakespeare, but we lose a little bit of the luster and must decide if this is, indeed, true love.
I was only 16 when I met Tommy, and the first years of college can be confusing, wild and life-changing, so we definitely hit some snags.
So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. We’ve all been swept away by Ryan Gosling quoting this, and if/when you reach this point in a relationship, you know it’s real and that you can work through tough times and choose each other forever.
After many tears and thoughts and even joining dating sites to get over each other, we eventually became “official,” choosing to be together, for reals and for good.
I was made and meant to look for you and wait for you and become yours forever. And then we feel complete, knowing that this is why we exist, to live and love, just as Robert Browning spoke about long ago.
Now, we’re a few years into our relationship, and I know we’ll face even more challenges and crossroads, but we only have this one short life, and I’m thrilled to be spending mine with a cutie I met on a Lufthansa flight.
So when it comes to not sleeping with (or being with or kissing) a guy until he’s in love with you…I say go with your gut! Because as my first point mentions, we seriously cannot help it when we fall for someone, and no matter how great everything seems, we are going to have to have lessons learned. So get out there, and while being smart and safe, test the waters, go on adventures and see if/how you can meet your Prince Charming (or Noah Calhoun;).
As always, thanks for reading, and be sure to keep us with all the news surrounding #WidowsGuide.