Happy birthday to me…

 “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes

Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I turn 26 tomorrow.
I’m constantly trying to get up a big hill (of hope, of to-do lists, etc. – even if I feel like Sisyphus at times).
And we’re all always on a way to a destination (work, retirement, the weekend, goals, and so on).
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I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
What does that mean? Do we know what brotherhood is any more? Or love or peace or compassion? (After the election, whatever your feelings are on it, seems like a good time to ponder on questions like this – but you should also probably be aware of these things daily.)
And so I cry sometimes
When I’m lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What’s in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What’s going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what’s going on?
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I cry.
I love my bed.
I want and need to get it all out, at times.
I always feel a little peculiar (like one of Miss Peregrine’s).
I remind myself constantly to breathe.
But when I do stop and think, I wonder…What IS going on?
And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time
In this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution
I’m always trying to be my best, praying that I please myself and those around me…and if a revolution comes from that, that’s cool, too.
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And so I cry sometimes…And I step outside…And I scream from the top of my lungs…What’s going on?
Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
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